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CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Then fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches! Pass this brass pest(?)
Cause Puffy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

(Verse 1)

Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It's the return of the
"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did
he?"
And Dr Dre said
....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
limpin' to you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...

(Chorus)

I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

(Verse 2)

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
You think I give a damm about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me

(chorus)

(Verse 3)

I murder a rhyme one word at a time, you never
Heard of a mind as perverted as mine, you better
Get rid of that nine it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin' for hell, like hell, shit, I'm anxous as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, thankful is jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was putting shells in the gauge on the shelf, I used to
Get punked and bullied on my block, till I cut a kitten's head off
And stuck it in this kid's mailbox (HEY! MOM! MOM!), I used to give a
Fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of sucess? It sucks! Too much press
*And stress, too much cess, and breasts, too upset
It's just, too much mess, I guess, I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick? (no) was raised right? Whatever you say's wrong, whatever I say's
right
You think of my name now whenever you say high, became a commodity because I'm W
- H - I
- T - E, 'cause MTV was so friendly to me, can't wait 'till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life. How is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't working?
You hear this finger? Oh, it's upside down.
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now!

Eminem: That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (shady) (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent
Victim and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
(record scratching)...my name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational "back, it's the incredible!"
With Ken Kaniff who just finds the men edible, it's, Ken Kaniff, on the,
internet, tryin' to Lure your kids, with him, INTO BED, it's a Sick world
we'RE livIN' in these days
"Slim, for pete's sake, put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez! You guys are so sensitive. "Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't
mention it..."
Mind with no sense in it, fried, gets so frentic,
'Cause eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smoke in 'em
With my windows tinted, with nine limos rented,
Doin' lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin' out
All high and dosing it
And that's where I get my name from
That's why they call me

Eminem: They call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

I take seven kids from columbine and stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
A Mac-11 and this oughtta solve this problem of mine
And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all of the time, 'cause I'm
Shady, they call me as crazy as this world was
Over this whole Y2K thing, and by the way
N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip-sync and buy a bigger size of ear rings?
That's why I tend to block out when I hear things
'Cause all these fans screamin' is making my ears ring
So I just throw up the middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was sticking it to Christina
'Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this
Sorry Puff but I don't give a fuck, if this chick was my own mother,
I'd still fuck her with no rubber, and cum inside her
And have a son and a new brother,
At the same tame, and just say that it ain't mine
What's my name?

Eminem: I'm, Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (slim) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)
That's why they call me Slim (er) Shady! (I'm back)
I'm back (I'm back)
School Choir: SLIM SHADY!
Eminem: I'm back (I'm back)

Guess who's back
Gue-gue-Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Gue-gue-Guess who's back

I'm...umm...
D12
Dr Dre
Slim Shady
2001
I'm blew out from this blunt
fuck

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 1:

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the
bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must not have got 'em
It probably was a problem at the post office or
somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot
'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your
daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm out to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her? I'm-a
name her Bonnie.

I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't
want him.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your
biggest fan.
I even got the underground shit that you did with
Scam.

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures,
man.
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was
fat.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to
chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan.

CHORUS:

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 2:

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you
have the chance.
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't
answer fans.
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to
but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.
That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old.
We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours
and ya just said no.
That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fuckin' idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more
than I do.

I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write
you
You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way.
I never knew my father neither.
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her.

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs.
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em
on.
Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps
when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds.
It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush
for me.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you
'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one
does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us
growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan
you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together too.

CHORUS:

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 3:

Dear Mr. "I'm too good to call or write my fans"
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass.
It's been six months and still no word. I don't
deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the
addresses on 'em perfect.

So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you
hear it.
I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to
drive?"
You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In
The Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy
from drowning?
But didn't? Then Phil saw it all then at his show he
found him?
That's kinda how this is. You could have rescued me
from drowning.
Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm
drowsy.

And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call.
I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the
wall.
I love you Slim, we could have been together. Think
about it.
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you
dream about it.
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you
scream about it.
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't
breathe without me.
See Slim, {screaming} shut up bitch, I'm trying to
talk
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk.
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see
I ain't like you.
'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then
she'll die too.
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit
out?

{screeching tires, crashing sounds, car splashes into
the water}

CHORUS:

My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed
at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see
at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture
on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 4:

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just
been busy.
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along
is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your
daughter that.
And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it
on your Starter cap.

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have
missed you.
Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to
diss you.
And what's this shit you said about you like to cut
your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin' dawg, c'mon, how fucked
up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some
counselin'
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you
get down some.

They said I can't rap about bein’ broke no more.
They say I can't rap about coke no more.
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
‘till the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin’ I'm playin’
Thinkin’ I'm sayin’ this shit cuz I'm thinkin’ it just to be sayin’ it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down BITCH, I ain't gon' shoot you.
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin’ too much chaos
Just bend over and take it slut, okay Ma?
“Oh, now he's rapin’ his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You goddamn right BITCH, and now it's too late,
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happened in two states.
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! {*chainsaw revs up*}
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
Danglin’ from his neck, while his head barely hangs on.
Blood, guts, guns, cuts.
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts.

Chorus: Eminem

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me.
Girls leave - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef.
We ain't gon' never stop beefin’ I don't squash the beef.
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin’ off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said.
But when they kill me - I'm bringin’ the world with me.
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin’ but a girl to me.

..I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady, (‘cause why?)
‘Cause Shady, will fuckin’ kill you. (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady, (why?)
Cuz Shady, will fuckin’ kill you

[Eminem]
Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin’ to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't ask to rap, but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up probe and just had a strap-on added.
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem on assault.
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin’ out of somethin’ up in the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done, this ain't the chorus.
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in the tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin’ murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine,
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in.

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem]
Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause ladies’ screams keep creepin’ in Shady's dreams.
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
these eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cuz their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer,
from fat bitch to all seventy-thousand pounds of her.
From principal, to the student body, and counselor,
from in-school, to before school, to out of school.
I don't even believe in breathin’, I'm leavin’ air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin’ for me to seep it.
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROAT SAG!
You faggots keep eggin’ me on ‘till I have you at knifepoint, then you beg
me to stop?
SHUT UP! Gimme your hands and feet!
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you!
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!"
ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem] Hahaha, I'm just playin’ ladies. You know I love you.

You see I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know why
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

Yo, you might see me joggin
Or you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin
A dead rottweiler dog
With his head chopped off in the park
With a spiked collar hollerin
At him cuz the son of a bitch wont quit barkin
Or leaning out a window with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot Pac in
Lookin for BIG's killas
Dressin ridiculous
Blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cuz Biggie and Pac just missed all us
Watchin all these cheap immitations get rich off em
And get dollars that shoulda been theirs like they switched wallets
And amist all this chris poppin and wrist watches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseas
And walk around with a empty bottle of Remmy Martin
Startin shit like some 26 year old skinny Cartman (God Damn It)
I'm anti Backstreet and Ricky Martin
It's instincts to kill N Sync don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What is this bitch retarded
Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smilin (Hehe)
Whatever happened to wildin out and being violent
Whatever happened to catchin a good old-fashioned passionate
Ass whoopin and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken

New kids on the block suck allota dick
Boy girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public
Imma love it (Ha Ha Ha)

Vanilla Ice don't like me (Uh Uh)
He said some shit devior despite me (Yep)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (Ha Ha)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
Run around screamin "I don't care, just bite me" (Na Na)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
And destroy your little 4 year old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear
In faggots who spray FAYGO root beer
And call themselves clowns cuz they look queer
FAGGY 2 dope and silent gay
Claimin Detriot, when y'all live twenty miles away
And I don't wrestle I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out
After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck PLOW!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
When you aint seen a fuckin mile roll South of 10
And I don't need help
From D-12
To beat up
Two females
And make up
When they tried to scratch me
Wit Lee nails
Slim Anus...you damn right Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flamin faggots

Cuz I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm not a wrestler guy
I'll knock you out if you talk about me...
Come and see me on the streets alone
If you assholes doubt me...
And if wanna run your mouth
Then come and take your best shot at me...

Is it because you love me
That y'all expect so much of me
You little groupie bitch get off me
Go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop
That's on top
Wit this fucked up head that I've got
I've gone pop
The underground just spun around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
Oh, he just did some shit with Missy
So now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get Busy
My fuckin bitch mom suing for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up a matress
Which is it bitch Mrs. Riggs or Ms. Mathers
It doesn't matter........faggot
Talkin about how I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I wont ejaculate in his ass
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin
Over for who wants to invite me to supper
All of a sudden
I got 90 some cousins (Hey It's Me)
A half brother and sister who never seen me
Or even bothered to call me
Until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed
To set foot in my girlfriends house (Hey)
And then to top it off I walk to the newsstand
And buy this cheap ass magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page flipped right fast
And what do i see? A picture of my big white ass!
Ok, lemme give you motherfuckers some help
Uh here...double XL, double XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Aww fuck it I'll even buy a couple myself

Cuz I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...

Because I'm...
Just Marshall Mathers...
I'm just a regular guy I don't know
All the fuss about me...
Nobody ever gave a fuck before
All they did was doubt me...
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And try to take shots at me...